


Snow on The Roof

by netlagd



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-01
Updated: 2015-02-01
Packaged: 2018-03-09 23:25:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3268175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/netlagd/pseuds/netlagd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><img/><br/>Brian and Justin have been apart for ten years.  What happens when a 17 year old Gus shows up on Justin’s doorstep days before Christmas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snow on The Roof

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wren_kt7oz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wren_kt7oz/gifts).



> banner by such_a_steph  
> Written for the qaf holiday gift exchange  
> Timeline: Post-513  
> Disclaimer: All characters and situations from _Queer As Folk_ are the property of Russell T. Davies, CowLip Productions, Tony Jonas Productions, Showtime Networks Inc. and others. No copyright infringement is intended.

Justin’s gave the loft a last once-over. He picked up his bag and pulled back the sliding door and... stopped short.

“Gus.” Justin breathed the name softly. It crossed his lips and was out before he ever had a chance to stop it.

There in his hall stood a young man, the image of his father, hand raised to knock, eyes wide and blinking.

“Oh! Uh, well... You know who I am...”

“You look exactly like your father.” Justin cursed himself. He hadn’t meant that one to slip out either. _What was Gus doing here?_ Justin quickly did the math, it had been ten years since the last time he’d seen the boy - he had to be... seventeen. Gus had always born a likeness to Brian. But here, all grown up, it was like time stood still and Justin was seventeen again, a callow youth poised on brink of manhood, facing the man who would become the most important person in his life, the man who took him from teenager to adult. The man who he had fell in love with. The man he hadn’t seen in ten years.

“Gus, what are you doing here?” Justin looked down and nearly laughed. By Gus’s feet was a more up to date version of his own Louis Vuitton Keepall duffle which was gripped in his hand. While Justin’s was battle-scarred, Gus’s was shiny and still held its original form.

Gus looked down, and shuffled his feet, then readjusted his eyes to look, still down, at Justin, as his tongue poked at his cheek. Justin nearly stepped back - to see better? Or maybe to get away from those eyes and smile so like Brian’s?

“I’m sorry Gus; I don’t mean to be rude, but I have a car service coming...”

“I was hoping... I was... can I stay with you for a while?” The words rushed out of Gus in one anxious breath. The Brian-esque poise shattered and Justin was faced with an uncertain young man of seventeen. 

“Gus...” Justin looked to Gus, then inside his apartment, and back to Gus. It was the holidays, he’d never be able to get a decent flight out of town if he didn’t leave today. He’d seen the forecast; the weather coming in, along with the normal holiday travel shit, was converging on New York like a perfect storm. 

Justin made a snap decision. He reached inside the door and punched in the alarm code before sliding it shut. Taking the keys from his pocket, he locked the three deadbolts. Turning, Justin grabbed Gus by the arm and dragged him into the elevator.

“Where are we going?”

“Pittsburgh.”

+*+*+*+*+*+*+

The driver for the car service didn’t even blink when Justin announced there’d be an additional passenger. After settling into the back of the Lincoln, Justin pulled out his phone and started scrolling though his address book.

“Are you calling my mom?” Gus’s voice wasn’t quite steady.

Justin glanced at Gus and noted the fidgeting hands. “Is there a reason that I shouldn’t call Lindsay?”

Gus swallowed. 

Justin’s eyebrows raised, but he kept his mouth shut and waited.

“Uh, she doesn’t really know I’m in NY.”

Justin nearly threw his phone. _What the fuck is going on?_ “Perhaps I should call Brian...?” Justin ventured.

“Uh, that probably wouldn’t be the best idea either...”

“Oh?”

“I didn’t really tell anyone I was coming for a visit.”

“A visit? Gus, I hate to clue you, but visits are normally arranged and scheduled with the other party. You showed up on my doorstep and asked to stay with me.”

Gus looked out the window as the car wound its way toward the Lincoln Tunnel. “I know...” the response was soft and sad.

Justin turned back to the task at hand and cursed as the signal faded when they hit the lowest part of the tunnel.

“What are you going to do?” Gus feared the curse was for him.

“I’m going to get you a ticket...”

“No! I’m not going back to Toronto!”

“Settle down, Gus. What I was saying was that I will get you a ticket on the flight with me to Pittsburgh. I’m assuming you have your passport since you’ve made it out of Canada.”

“Oh.” Gus digested what Justin was saying -- he wasn’t going to send him home. This was good. Gus smiled, “Yes, I have my passport.”

“Uh, huh.” Justin turned back to the phone whose signal had resumed. He didn’t like that smile one bit. There was something going on here, he’d bet. He called the airline and quickly booked another seat, wincing at the cost of a companion ticket in First Class. Gus’s smile grew bigger as he heard Justin make the reservation. _Little Shit -- Did I pull this stuff on Brian when I was his age?_ Justin pondered this one and shook his head. Of course he had.

 

+*+*+*+*+*+*+

The plane ride was short and Gus had enough sense not to push conversation when his first few attempts were met by grunts or silence.

It wasn’t until they were in the rental car that Gus piped up again. “Where are we going?” Justin had turned onto the Interstate and was headed toward downtown.

“I’m dropping you off at the loft and you can explain to your father why you’ve skipped town without letting any of your parents know your plans. My family is expecting me, and this detour will end up making me late. Believe me, no matter how old you get, mothers still can make your life miserable when you’re late for a meal.”

“Why are we going downtown? What’s the loft?” Gus had a vague memory of his dad’s old apartment. But he’d been just a kid the few times he’d visited. 

His dad lived in West Virginia, in a rambling old manor house. Gus once asked him why he lived in such a huge place all by himself. 

“Because Sonny Boy, sometimes you just gotta have faith.” 

Which was really weird, because his dad wasn’t religious or anything. 

Over the years, Gus had gradually come to understand that this was the home his father had made for himself and Justin. The only missing piece of the puzzle was Justin. He never visited -- at least as far as Gus was aware of. And why did Justin think his dad lived downtown? Didn’t they know anything about each other’s lives?

It was like his dad was a princess locked up in some castle waiting for his prince charming -- metaphorically speaking. Gus let out a giggle, at the thought. He knew his father would just be thrilled with the analogy. He laughed again.

Justin was thrown by Gus’s comment and his subsequent giggling. He glanced at Gus, but quickly returned his eyes to the road. It had begun to snow.

“If your dad doesn’t live at the loft anymore, do you have his address? Can you plug it into the GPS for me?”

Gus smiled. “Sure!”

Justin spared Gus another glance; that was a bit too enthusiastic.

Justin listened and watched as the heads-up display and speaker directed him to exit the Interstate and loop back toward the airport. Justin felt a drop in the pit of his stomach as the GPS instructed him to exit onto 22 West. He rubbed absently at his chest.

Outside the car, the snow was getting heavier. As the highway sign marked the two left lanes as “West Virginia” Justin knew where they were headed.

“Gus...”

“Huh?” Gus had been looking out the window, trying to keep the smile from cramping his cheek muscles. This was way better than he had planned. 

“Where exactly does your dad live?”

Gus rattled off the exact address.

 _Shit!_ Justin wanted to close his eyes and rub soothingly on his temples, but he needed his eyes and hands to drive. 

As they neared the Tudor styled house, Justin noticed the stone fence line under caps of snow and sturdy square columns with a gate. A placard on the columns proclaimed “Britin”. That hadn’t been here the last time Justin had been here. But then again, it had been ten years.

The rental car plowed through the nearly six inches of unmarred snow that blanketed the drive. A few lights shone through windows, and the large sconce outside the main entrance was lit and welcoming.

Justin swallowed. All he had to do was drop Gus off and he could head to his mother’s. He’d be out of here in fifteen minutes.

+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Gus bypassed knocking at the door, instead opting to use the key from his pocket. 

Justin eyed the move, noting the ease with which Gus made himself at home. _He must visit his father often._

Brian heard the car then the door open and headed out from the den to the foyer. His voice traveled ahead of him. “Fuck Michael! Are we going to have to go over this again? I told you that I only gave you that key for emergencies.”

Brian stopped short as he took in his son... and Justin.

Justin couldn’t stop the tears that welled up at the corners of his eyes, so he blinked them away and smiled at the man who was still made his heart drop a beat. “I see you’re still giving out keys to your home.”

“Your home.” Brian corrected softly, hoping that Justin didn’t hear him or at least understand what he meant by the comment.

“Dad!” Gus barreled down the hall and hugged his father.

Justin looked at the two of them together. Brian with sliver at his temples and very lightly scattered though his auburn hair. Just as tall as his son, a bit broader in the shoulders, a bit more filled out though in a toned, muscular way. Gus was the image of a younger Brian, and nearing fifty didn’t diminish Brian’s look in any manner. In fact, Justin could easily say he preferred the more mature Kinney, after all time hadn’t stood still for him either.

Brian loosened his hold on Gus, and looked at the man he hadn’t faced in nearly ten years. “Justin. What? How?”

“Gus.”

Brian looked at his son. “What’s going on here? Your mom called frantic to find out what happened to you. Mel bitched me out five ways from Sunday claiming I’d kidnapped you. How did you get here, and what is Justin doing with you?”

Justin winced at the words. Well, if nothing else, Brian was always truthful. It was obvious that he wasn’t wanted.

“Look, I’m just dropping Gus off. He can fill you in on whatever plans he had when he showed up at my door. I have to get to my mom’s for the annual family Christmas pilgrimage. Gus, you should probably call your moms -- it sounds like they’re worried. Brian, it was good to see you again.”

Justin turned and headed toward the door.

Gus panicked. He’d been congratulating himself on his whole plan and now it was going to get fucked up. He shoved at Brian. “Don’t let him leave!”

“Justin, wait!”

Justin stood with his had on the doorknob, the door open to the elements. Brian looked beyond and saw the rental car covered in snow.

“What?” Justin just wanted to get out of there.

Brian grabbed at the straw. “You can’t go out in this. The forecast is for twelve inches, and the temperature is dropping. It will be ice before you get to the highway. Stay here tonight. You can head to the Pitts in the morning after they’ve cleared the roads.

Justin went to protest but looked beyond the door. Talk about being between a rock and a hard place.

“I’ll get our bags!” Gus volunteered happily and ran out to the car. 

Gus returned with two totes in hand. He closed the door behind him and shook the snow out of his hair. “Wow! This is like back home!” Gus passed his father and Justin. making his escape up the stairs. He tossed his bag in his room before taking Justin’s bag to his Dad’s room.

Brian heard the doors open and close. _Incorrigible little shit! Well, after all, he is my son._

“Would you like some privacy to call your Mom? Perhaps you need to call your partner?” Brian was already leading the way down the hall to his office. He opened the door in front of Justin and gestured him through.

“Uh, yeah.” Justin nodded absently, missing Brian’s look of pain.

“There’s a screen on the desk if you want to video.”

“That’s okay, I’ll use my mobile.” Justin held up his phone and shook it. The last thing he wanted was to be on a video conference face-to-face with his mother.

“Okay. Well, I’ll give you some privacy. I’ll be upstairs with Gus.” Brian closed the door and headed toward the stairs.

+*+*+*+*+*+*+

 

“Justin! You should have been here an hour ago. Are you all right? Have you been in an accident?”

“Mom, I’m all right. If you would stop and catch your breath, maybe I could get a word in edgewise.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” 

_Sorry’s bullshit._ The phrase floated in Justin’s mind.

“It’s just that your plane landed over two hours ago, and with the weather - they’re predicting record snowfall and freezing. Where are you?”

“West Virginia.”

“What are you doing in West Virginia? Did you make a wrong turn or something? I know you only get here once a year, and we’ve only lived here for two years, but that’s why there’s a GPS in the car.”

“I’m at Brian’s.”

“Brian’s?” Jennifer was perplexed. “Brian’s?” Then her voice raised an octave. “Brian’s?!”

Justin held the phone away from his ear.

“It’s a long story.”

“Well, in this weather, I’m not going anywhere. Spill.”

 _Why was it she could reduce him to that eight year old child who was caught painting a mural below the chair rail in the dining room?_ Justin gathered up his courage. “No.”

“Justin, I’m still your mother...”

“I’m not debating that mom, but I really can’t explain it all now over the phone. I’ll be at your house tomorrow after the roads are cleared and we can...”

“Tomorrow?!” There it was again.

“Yes, tomorrow. The storm has already hit out here and Brian has graciously offered me a place to sleep for the night...”

“I’ll bet.”

“I’ll see you in the morning... better make that afternoon...”

“Justin...”

Justin signed off before his mother could question him further. _Fuck!_ What _was_ he doing in the home of his former lover... partner... whatever? How did he get in this predicament? Oh yeah, Gus. What was this all about?

Justin wandered around the Brian’s inner sanctum, killing time, trying to think about how he was going to get through the rest of the evening... night... sharing this house with Brian. The house where they were supposed to spend their blissful married life. _Fuck!_

The first thing was obvious. A painting he’d done about seven years ago hung on the wall opposite Brian’s desk. One of his favorites. He’d painted it thinking he’d give it to Brian one day. Then in a fit of drunken self-pity he decided to get rid of all things Brian from his life. That had been three years ago. He’d put it out for sale. He hadn’t truly wanted to get rid of it. He remembered his surprise when it sold; it was double the cost of anything else in the gallery, and half the size of any other canvas in the show. Justin smiled. He was glad that it had made its way home to Brian. 

Justin walked the room in a circle then settled in the padded leather chair behind the desk. He twirled the chair in a circle and had started to close his eyes, then just a second later, his lids flew open. The photograph on the desk, make that photographs on the desk! There were four. Three from their years together so long ago. But the one that made him sit up in the chair was a candid photo of him in Central Park staging a sculpture that had been commissioned for the zoo. It was from two years ago. Who had taken the picture? 

He began to prowl the room, noticing the small frames interspersed between the books that lined the shelved walls of the room. There had to be well over three dozen scattered about -- small frames, some hardly noticeable, unless you were looking. Justin looked. 

Many of the photos were from their early days together, but an equal amount were from the last ten years, after they had decided to call it quits. They had managed little more than a year of a commuting back and forth, trying to keep the long distance relationship working. But the relationship strained under the weight of nights spent apart, which only fed the loneliness and jealousy. Justin argued to come home to Pittsburgh; he could paint anywhere, but Brian pushed him away telling Justin he’d be a fool to give up the opportunity of his life. The visits became less frequent, emails became shorter, phone calls became non-existent. Brian had simply given up on them.

In a fit of rage, Justin decided that he’d done all he could and if Brian Kinney wasn’t going to work on their relationship, then he wasn’t going to waste his time. Justin made attempts to have relationships. Only one had made it past a few months. He’d dated Andrew for over a year, things were fun, things were companionable, things were comfortable. There were no fights, but then there was no wild hang-from-the-rafters-sex either. Things were... comfortable. The day Andrew moved in was the day the relationship died. How Justin had not seen it coming, he didn’t know. Andrew moved out ten days later, the time it took to find a new apartment, with a parting gift -- a small painting -- from Justin which Andrew promptly sold on Ebay.

Justin poured over the framed photos on the shelves. How could he have had a stalker all these years and not known about it? Was Brian his stalker? 

A knock interrupted Justin. Brian stuck his head in the door.

“I didn’t hear any voices, so I took a chance you were done with your calls.”

“Call.” Justin corrected absently. He picked up a photo, which, by the haircut and location. Justin judged to be about five years ago, right about the time he’d thrown Andrew out. “This photo...”

Brian plucked it from Justin’s hand and grabbed his elbow. He steered Justin from the room. “How about a cup of tea? I’ve just brewed a pot. White tea, chock full of antioxidants. It will help you sleep.”

Justin pulled away. “How do you know how I sleep?”

“You always said you slept poorly the first night in an unfamiliar bed.” Brian shrugged nonchalantly.

“That was like ten years ago.”

“Do you want some tea or not?”

Something was going on here. Justin nodded, “Sure.”

Justin sat at the table in the breakfast nook area of the kitchen while Brian gathered up the teapot and two mugs. “Milk? Sugar?”

“You were always the sugar fiend. Plain is fine with me.”

Brian nodded and placed the mugs on the table and poured out tea for each of them.

Justin took a sip. Then finding that he liked the tea, he drank a bit more. “Good,” he said begrudgingly.

“Yeah, I’m cutting down on caffeine at night. Gus said they fed you on the plane. If it had been me, I’d have made him fly coach.”

Justin smiled, yeah, that was a Brian thing to do. He probably was right, it would have taught Gus a lesson. “It certainly would have made it cheaper for you to reimburse me.”

Brian sighed dramatically. “Would you like something to eat?”

“What’s in your fridge these days? The last time I saw inside of it there was only poppers, beer, and guava juice -- how can you drink that stuff?”

Brian opened the door to the refrigerator and gestured to its contents. “There’s a few more options these days -- and for the record, guava juice is delicious.”

“Sure it is. You’re in the right job for bullshit. I’ll take an apple.” Justin nodded to a bowl of green apples on the island. “How are things at Kinnetik?”

“Just peachy.” Brian tossed Justin a Granny Smith apple.

Justin caught it deftly and took a bite.

“How are things in the art world?”

“Pretty good. People keep spending money on what I churn out.”

“Don’t belittle what you do!” The retort was sharp and took Justin by surprise. “You have an incredible talent and are lucky enough to be recognized for it without having to die first.”

“Been there, done that.” The smart-ass response was out before Justin could stop himself. He saw pain in Brian’s eyes and wished he could take it back. “Brian... I didn’t mean... oh for Christ’s sake it’s been nearly twenty years. Look, this small talk isn’t going anywhere. Maybe we should just call it a night. It’s been a long day.” Justin came around the kitchen island and tossed the apple core in the trash.

Brian debated keeping Justin downstairs where they could talk. He had so much to say to the man. But he let him go.

“Where am I staying?”

“Gus put your bag in the room at the end of the hall.”

“But that’s the master bedroom, isn’t it?”

“Yes. But don’t worry about it, I’ll just sleep on the couch in the den.”

“Oh for god’s sake, don't be a martyr. I am not moving you out of your own bed in your own home. This place has like five bedrooms, I’ll bunk in one of them. Assuming they’re furnished.”

Brian nodded his head. “I seem to have a never ending stream of visitors.”

Justin was trying to figure out whether that was a reference to tricks, but he was too tired and didn’t want to get into a nasty battle of innuendoes. It was too painful.

“I’m sure you do. I’ll collect my bag and find another room.”

Brian grabbed Justin’s hand as he passed, lightly tugging Justin back toward him. “You don’t have to. I can share.”

Justin didn’t reply fast enough. Brian could almost see the wheels spinning. Justin was considering the offer.

“I’m not sure...”

Brian tugged Justin toward him. He reach up an let his fingers slide through the blond silk at the back of Justin’s neck. Justin shut his eyes and Brian pulled him closer.

The years fell away; eyes closed, Justin relished the sweetness of Brian’s kiss. It had been so long. After Andrew, Justin had made up a new set of rules for himself. No more relationships. Casual, friendly, no kissing. Mostly one night stands, and it was often months between.

Justin caved into Brian’s lap, seeking his warmth and familiarity. Nothing else ever felt like this. This was why it was never satisfying. Sex wasn’t love, it didn’t fill what was missing. And once you had had it -- the real thing, real love -- well, you probably weren’t going to be lucky enough to find it again. _Maybe, you’re getting a second chance -- don’t fuck it up._

The kisses deepened and hands explored familiar but long-lost territory. As Justin’s hands started to pull at Brian’s shirttails, Brian took over, leading Justin out of the kitchen, stopping only briefly to shut off the lights. 

Justin resigned himself to sharing the night with Brian. Rather than feel panic, he managed to reach a state of calm and moved quietly down the hall and up the stairs alongside the man he had never forgotten.

“Your home is beautiful. I never did get to see it furnished.”

Brian nodded acknowledgement but didn’t say anything. Instead he rolled his lips between his teeth as he opened the door to the master suite and ushered Justin in.

Justin didn’t pay a great deal of attention to the room, but headed to his bag on the bed.

“Is it okay if I hang a few things up? I know I’m only here overnight, but I didn’t plan on having everything balled up for so long.”

“Sure.” Brian gestured to the door of the walk in closet. He closed his eyes. _In for a penny..._ He’d made several mistakes tonight, letting Justin use his office was the first. Hopefully, he’d managed to get him out of there before Justin could discover all the photos hidden amongst the shelves. The painting... well, it wasn’t as if he could do anything about that, or the three here in the bedroom either. He had managed to shove the photos on his dresser and the nightstand into drawers after he’d had a little chat with Gus. Brian shook his head. What was Gus thinking? This wasn’t some Disney movie where the kid reunites his parents who are still in love with one another. 

Brian moved to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

Justin looked around the walk in closet. He indulged himself burying his nose in a row of suits; he took a deep breath. _Mmmmm, Brian..._ And yet something was missing... cigarettes. Justin shrugged. Brian must have given them up. Justin strolled down the line of suits and shoes. His fingers lightly caressed silk dress shirts and ties. There were cubes holding some serviceable jeans, t-shirts and running shoes, but a distinct lack of club clothes. 

Justin turned to the opposite side of the closet where the shelves and rods were mostly empty but for a few hangers. He started to hang up his things when he noticed the few items that were on this side were his. _Why would Brian have bothered keeping clothes of his that were ten years old?_

Justin finished emptying out his duffle and stripped out of his clothes. Dressed in a pair of boxer briefs he entered the bedroom. Brian was coming out of the bathroom.

“There’s a clean toothbrush for you on the counter.”

“There always was.” Justin smiled to soften what Brian took as censure. “Gus says you don’t live at the loft anymore.” _Brilliant Taylor, it’s obvious he’s living here._

“No.” Was all Brian said.

“I guess you sold it. Did my mom list it for you again?”

“No.”

“No, my mom didn’t list it or no, you didn’t sell it?”

“I didn’t sell it. I... I just closed it up. I write it off on my taxes. Ted’s always looking for things to write off.”

“Oh, I see.” Not really. Justin didn’t really see anything clearly. “You sure this is okay?” Justin nodded toward the bed.

“I’m not the one with the partner at home who has to explain things... or do you have an open relationship?”

“Partner?”

“Yeah, isn’t there a Mrs. Justin Taylor at home? You said you were going to call him.”

“No, I didn’t. I called my mom.”

“So what happens in Pittsburgh, stays in Pittsburgh? Or in this case West Virginia?”

“No.”

Brian arched an eyebrow in an all too familiar gesture.

“I mean that there is no partner. I don’t know where you got that idea from.”

“No Andrew?” Brian laid cards on the table.

“Andrew? That was five years ago. Wait! How do you know about Andrew?”

Brian shrugged. “Your mom used to talk to Debbie about him. You know Debbie; can’t keep a secret.”

“It’s not like Andrew was any big secret.”

“To hear Debbie tell it, he was the second coming. Worked with disabled children, volunteered at an Aids Hospice, fed the homeless, ran a therapy group for aging drag queens.”

Justin barked out a laugh. “Now I know you’re making _that_ up!”

“So, no Andrew?” 

 Justin shook his head.

Brian walked slowly toward Justin. “And no Paul?”

A grin tugged at the corner of his lips; he shook his head once more.

“Dylan?”

Justin smiled and shook his head again.

“Brayden?”

Justin’s nose wrinkled, “Ewww, that’s a name?”

“You’re from the country club set, I figured there would be lots of Braydens milling about St. James Academy.”

“Please. Give me some credit. I wouldn’t go for some Brayden, I’d go for someone hot with a name to match, like Alejandro.” He waggled his eyebrows for effect.

“Oh, Alejandro?”

Justin took the last step to close the distance between them. “No, Alejandro isn’t a hot name. I mean it’s hot, but not for me. For me, I’d probably look for something Irish rather than Spanish, Aiden or Brian.”

Now Brian hooted with laughter. “I don’t think I’ve ever thought of Brian as a hot name.”

Justin pulled him down for a kiss. “You’re hot.”

“Undoubtedly, just not my name. Of course, when a man, such as myself, is so hot it translates to the name.”

“Brian Kinney.” Justin whispered sexily in Brian’s ear.

“Exactly.”

“So Brian Kinney, when are you going to shut up and have your way with me?”

Brian circled a leg behind Justin’s and neatly, if not gracefully landed them both on the bed. They collapsed in a heap, Justin splayed across Brian, safely secured in Brian’s arms, laughing in sheer joy. Brian pulled back Justin’s head by his soft golden hair, “God, I’ve missed you!”

Justin smiled back, “I’ve missed you, too.”

Brian pulled Justin close and captured his lips.  
 +*+*+*+*+*+*+

“What do you mean you’re out of condoms?!”

“Justin, despite your low expectations where I am concerned, I don’t spend every spare moment tricking these days. I’m forty-five...”

“Forty-six...”

Brian gave him a perturbed look, “Fine, forty-six. Thank you for reminding me. I don’t nail everything that walks on two legs.”

“I don’t have low expectations of you. I have very _high_ expectations of you.”

“Well, don’t you have any stashed in your bag?”

“I don’t normally carry them when I stay at my mom’s. It’s not like I’m out partying when I visit. I may have one or two in my shaving kit, let me...” Justin rose to move from the bed, but Brian tackled him. “Don’t you think that we should check before we proceed any further. Ohhh....” Brian was nibbling on Justin’s butt which seemed to shift priorities for the moment.

A box of Trojans sailed across the room and hit the bed next to Brian and Justin.

“What the fuck?”

Gus stood in the doorway, devoid of shirt, pajama pants on, one leg stuck at his knee, bed head, Justin thought he was having a flashback. 

“God! Don’t you guys ever quit? My room is going to have to be moved to the other side of the house! It’s a good thing I’ve outgrown the current decor. And, by the way, if I wasn’t gay already, I’d be scarred for life! Thank you, very much! I’m going get dressed and if the roads are clear, I’m going to take the Jeep into town and check out the GameStop. Oh, and I’ll stop by the store and pick you up two more boxes.” Gus stomped out.

Brian picked up the box of Trojans. “Fuck! GUS!”

Gus came back to the doorway. “What?”

“I don’t use this shit, and neither should you. Use the credit card and get four boxes of Crowns.”

Gus rolled his eyes.

“And close the door.”

Gus pulled it shut with a bang.

“Gus is gay?” Justin asked, a bit dazed by what had just happened.

“Yeah, poor kid. He like realized it pretty early on then spent an entire year trying to figure out how to tell Linds and Mel he wasn’t a lesbian.” Brian laughed remembering Lindsay telling him about his son’s coming out. 

Justin laughed, “Poor kid, that had to have been hard on him.”

“You didn’t just say that.”

“What?”

“Never mind.” Brian opened the box of condoms. “Little shit, there’s only one in here!”

“Well, we better make it last. You could always blow me.”

“Maybe you should check your shaving kit.”

+*+*+*+*+*+*+

“They looked at me like I was some sort of pervert. But secretly, I think they were trying to figure out how I was going to use them all.”

Brian, Justin and Gus were around the table eating a late breakfast. Brian was amazed how they all settled into a fairly normal routine. Justin was making an omelet when Gus came back from the village. He seemed to have gotten over his drama queen moment. Talk about the fruit not falling far from the tree. Justin could only imagine what the world would have to contend with when Gus Peterson-Marcus-Kinney decided to take over his father’s shoes.

“Fuck ‘em.”

“Brian!”

“Justin, they sell the damn things, they know they’re going to get used.”

“Yeah, but not everyone buys in bulk.”

+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Brian found Justin in the walk in closet folding his clothes neatly into his carry-all.

“Going somewhere?”

“My mom’s.”

“Oh.”

Justin crossed to where Brian was. He slid a hand up Brian’s chest and lightly caressed his cheek.

“Brian, I had a wonderful night last night...”

“and this morning...”

Justin smiled, “And this morning. I’m sore in places I haven’t been sore in years.”

“Well, I could take a look...”

Justin backed away laughing. “Then I’d be more sore. Really, it was wonderful. But I only do this trip once a year, and my mom expects me to spend time with her and Tucker. Christmas is important to her, especially now with Molly and her kids. I’d invite you and Gus to join us, but I know you don’t do Christmas...”

“I do Christmas.”

Justin stared at him. “Since when.”

“Since Gus. Generally, Gus and I don’t get to celebrate it until after Christmas. Mel and Linds don’t like to share at the holidays. But this year, Gus is here. And I’m not sending him back until he’s ready to go. He still hasn’t explained why he ran away from home or showed up on your doorstep.” 

Justin was torn. He felt more in touch with another person than he had in years. About ten, to be exact. He was welcomed at his mother’s, but he always felt like the odd man out with his mother and Tucker, Molly and her husband, and the kids. He yearned to stay here a while longer. Justin wanted to see if this time around they could get it right. But maybe that was just the sex clouding his judgment. 

For the past several years, Justin had longed to return to Pittsburgh. The only thing that had been holding him back was Brian. When they had split for the final time, Justin knew he couldn’t stay away from Brian if they were in the same city. It was too painful thinking about running into the man. He wasn’t sure his heart could take it.

Fear dictated that Justin stay away. He feared that if he tried to reconnect with Brian only to be pushed away again “for his own good”, or worse that Brian may had moved on to another relationship, or that Brian might reject him without any other excuse. Justin was afraid to face the fact Brian didn’t want him anymore.

Well, last night had proved one thing. Brian wanted him, but for how long? All this required communication. And that wasn’t going to happen with him staying at his mother’s and Brian in West Virginia.

He had reached a new plateau in his life in terms of achievement. He and Brian were closer in their career accomplishments, and probably financial stability as well. They were older, more settled. But Justin sure as hell wasn’t going to use that as an argument for why they should be together. Could they make it work this time? Did Brian even want to?

Justin stopped shoving clothes into his duffle and looked at Brian.

“Would you like to spend Christmas with my family?”

“Well, if you’re sure we wouldn’t be intruding...” Not the answer Justin was expecting.

Justin rolled his eyes and shook his head. “I’ll confirm it with my mother.” He zipped up his bag.

Brian tugged at the bag handles. “You sure you have to go? I mean, they will be hetero sex all around you.” He shuddered for effect.

“An image I could do without.” Justin smiled.

“Well, your mother’s boy toy is still in his thirties.”

“Actually, he celebrated his fortieth this year,” Justin corrected with relish.

“And yet that didn’t slow me down.”

Justin glared at him, “Thanks for reminding me.”

“I’m just saying that you may find that you would be more comfortable out here in the woods with the queers. How old are Molly’s kids?” Brian knew, but the greater the argument to make Justin stay, the better. 

“Two and Four.” Justin adored his niece and nephew, but living with them was another matter.

“And you’re mom’s still living in that _charming_ townhouse?”

“I hate you. Actually, she’s moved.” To a smaller two bedroom bungalow. Justin pondered all that Brian had raised. Well, if he were going to spend the holidays in West Virginia, he’d be getting some answers first. “Are you asking me to stay with you?”

Brian leered, “Most definitely.”

“You do realize you have a seventeen year old son to watch.”

“Gus is a responsible young man.”

“Gus showed up on my doorstep yesterday in Manhattan and none of his parents knew he was there. Have you called Lindsay yet?”

Brian winced. “I’ll call the munchers while you go off to Mommie’s.” He tugged again on Justin’s bag. “This can stay here. There isn’t supposed to be more than flurries for the next few days and the roads are clear.”

“But...”

“Why don’t you ask Jennifer if she’d like to have Christmas dinner here? There’s plenty of room. I bet it would be a bit crowded at her place with nine people. I can have it catered, that will save her time.”

Justin stared at Brian, “Who are you?”

+*+*+*+*+*+*+

“What do you mean you’re not staying? I thought you said you’d be okay on the couch. Do you want me to book you a hotel room?”

“Uh, I have accommodations.”

Jennifer narrowed her gaze, Justin was forced to meet her eyes. “Where?”

“West Virginia.”

“Absolutely not!”

“Jennifer, Justin is an adult. He can make his own decisions.”

“Thank you, Tucker.”

“Am I supposed to calmly stand by and watch him break your heart again?” 

Jennifer’s concern wasn’t entirely one-sided. She had learned to like Brian. In fact, she had had great hopes that Brian might be her son-in-law, or as near as one might get, one day. She’d seen how Justin’s being in New York had taken a toll on her son, and Brian as well. 

“Mom, quite frankly, it’s none of your business. Let’s look at this as a departure from a house stuffed to the gills for the holidays. I’m taking advantage of having an adult sized bed to sleep in, rather than the torture of the sofa-bed. I can spend time with you and Molly and everyone else, I’ll just sleep elsewhere.”

Jennifer eyebrows raised, and Justin found he could still blush even at the ripe age of thirty-four.

All righty, then, change topic.

“Actually, Brian has invited everyone to his house in West Virginia for Christmas Dinner. He even offered to have it catered.”

Jennifer hurumphed.

“His place is huge, there would be plenty of room. We can have Christmas morning here and go there for the afternoon and dinner.”

The thought of not having to feed nine out of her postage stamp sized kitchen appealed to Jennifer. “We’ll go in the afternoon and for dinner, but we’ll make dinner -- I’ve already bought most of the groceries. Would Brian and Gus like to join us Christmas morning?”

Justin smiled, perhaps things wouldn’t be too bad after all. “I’ll ask them.”

+*+*+*+*+*+*+

“Just one moment...” Brian caught Gus trying to sneak past the doorway as Brian sat in thought in his office.

“Uh, what?”

“Gus, get in here. Now.”

Gus sulked as he moved into the office and took the chair opposite his father.

“I don’t suppose you’d like to share with me what the fuck was going through your head when you planned your little excursion to New York?”

“Uh... no.”

“Wrong answer, try again.”

“Da-ad!”

Brian stared across at Gus; Gus was the first to look away.

“IthougththatifIcouldbringJustinhereyou’dbehappy.” One long string of words mumbled. About all Brian heard was “Justin”, "you" and “happy”.

“Want to try that again without the marbles in your mouth?’

Gus uncurled from his slouch and sat up in his chair. “I just thought... well, you have all these pictures of Justin... and you never seem to have anybody in your life... I mean not like Uncle Mike and Ben or Emmett and Ted... you know someone special... like Mom and Mama... you know... I figured... you... Justin...”

“Gus you can’t just rearrange people’s lives. Justin has his life in New York. Mine is here in Pittsburgh. We live in two entirely different cities. We haven’t seen each other for years. We’re strangers.”

“Didn’t look like strangers this morning.” Gus smirked at his dad.

 _Fuck!_ Brian curled his lips in and bit them to keep from bursting out a bark of laughter. The impertinence of his kid. Damned if he wasn’t right.

“Just because two people are compatible sexually doesn’t mean they’re going to live happily ever after. Gus, you can’t pin your hopes on dreams, you’ll just be disappointed.”

+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Justin managed to escape his mother’s home relatively unscathed. He promised he’d return the following day and help his mom do some last minute shopping.

As he pulled into drive of Brian’s house, Justin tried to figure out what was the best course of action. He stopped the car, and then, because it seemed like a good idea he banged his head a couple times against the steering wheel.

A knock on the window interrupted Justin’s self-punishment. Brian stood next to the car in a black wool Armani overcoat. Justin rolled down the window.

“Coming in?”

“Uh, sure...”

Brian waited as the window rolled up and Justin got out of the car.

“Tough day, dear?”

Justin grunted a laugh. “What are we doing?”

“Right now, we’re getting in out of the cold. After that, dinner maybe? You’re mom feed you?”

Justin shook his head. 

“Sounds like dinner. C’mon, Gus has been cooking up a storm. He exchanges recipes with Emmett. I probably should put an end to it, but he’s damned good.” 

+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Dinner was enjoyable. Nothing heavy. Gus filled his dad in on school and his applications for college. He’d chosen schools in the Pittsburgh area for the most part, informing his father that his mothers were not happy with his decision to apply only stateside.

As punishment for having to call Gus’s moms, Brian informed Gus that he’d have to clean up the dinner dishes and whatever else mess he’d made.

Tugging on Justin’s hand, Brian pulled him to his office and closed the door. “Alone at last.” Brian backed Justin up against the door and captured his lips. 

+*+*+*+*+*+*+

“I’m done!” Gus called out ahead of himself as he came down the hallway to his father’s office. The door was open and the room was dark. Gus moved from room to room on the main floor, ending up in the Den.

No sight of his father, no sight of Justin.

He punched the air with an exuberant “Yes!” and collapsed on the couch in fit of happy laughter. Good thing it was comfortable, he planned to spend the night there.

+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Sated. Satisfied. Sublime. Justin was happily laying in a heap on top of Brian.

“Don’t you think we should talk?”

Justin tensed -- Brian couldn’t help but notice, he was sure -- he forced himself to relax. 

“Isn’t that my line?”

“It’s been ten years, I thought I’d give it a try.”

Justin gave a short, forced laugh, “What do you want to talk about?”

“You. Me. The Pitts. The Big Apple. Us?”

Justin was stunned. But he reminded himself that he was measuring the man by preconceived notions from ten years earlier. Justin certainly wasn’t the man he was ten years ago, and he was doing Brian an injustice by assuming Brian hadn’t changed in that time. He swept his arm across their bodies. “The floor is yours.”

“How do you think you’re doing?”

“That’s a broad question, any particular area of my life you think we should discuss?”

Brian shrugged, “Personal, professional, you choose.”

“Well,” Justin took his time, measuring the words he would speak. “Personally, I’m doing okay. I’ve been careful to invest a portion of my earning regularly. About five years ago I purchased a building that serves as studio and apartment, with some rental units...”

Brian snorted a laugh. 

Justin cuffed him lightly, but laughed along. “Not _that_ kind of rental unit! I have three apartments that I rent out - or rather the property manager rents out. The bank and I are in a happy little arrangement where anything I make on rent goes to them for the next twenty-five years. But eventually, if I live long enough to see it, it will be mine.”

“Is that important to you?”

“Not really, but I have to live somewhere. Better the master of your own ship and all that. What about you - you still owe the bank a fortune for this place?”

Brian shook his head. “I paid it off a couple of years ago when I had a particularly good year. Ted nearly killed me. But then I bought the building the loft is in, and write off that mortgage instead.”

“I can’t believe you don’t live there anymore.”

“I needed a change.”

“But the loft... I’m just surprised to see you here.”

“Because it doesn’t suit your image of me?”

“Quite frankly, I probably wouldn’t imagine you here in a million years. If I was in New York and someone told me you were living here, I just wouldn’t have believed it. But seeing you here, now... well, it seems right. You seem calm... no, that’s not the right word. You seem at peace, content.”

Brian rolled his eyes, and Justin punched him again. “Okay, so I don’t have the word for it. But I know it when I see it. And you here, it’s right. I wish I...” Justin gave a deflating sigh.

“You wish?”

“I wish it had been us. I wish you had been able to find this place with me all those years ago. I wish I had been a part of it,” he finished sadly.

Brian tugged Justin down so that the younger man’s head lay on his chest. He stroked the wheat colored hair. Only when he was sure Justin couldn’t see his face, he allowed himself a small smile. “You have more to do with my being happy here than you’ll ever know.”

Justin struggled against Brian’s arms, but they held him close to his chest. Try as he might, Justin couldn’t get an angle where he could see Brian's face.

“Shhh, relax. Would you like to know what I’ve been up to for the last ten years?”

“Building empires?” Despite his living in New York, he still heard tidbits about Brian’s life. Michael would occasionally drop something into their conversation when they worked on Rage. His mother would bring news, unintentionally. Justin would gather up this information and relish it.

“Actually, I leave the empire building to my trusty CFO and sycophant, Ted. I’ve been taking stock of my life. A good deal of my time has been working on being a father to Gus. I’d like to think that despite his recent actions I’ve done a good job.”

“He’s a good kid, despite his showing up on my doorstep. You seem to have a good relationship with him. I always told you that you had the makings of a good father. I mean, after all, how many dad’s are comfortable enough having their son buy their condoms.”

Brian chuckled. “I also spent several years making this house into a home.”

“It’s flawless. It doesn’t feel like that cold monstrosity that we visited in the snow. It’s warm and inviting. It’s the kind of place anyone would want to live.”

“How about you?”

“Huh?”

“How about you? Could you live here?”

“Brian...”

“Justin, we’re not getting any younger. I didn’t send Gus to you in New York, but I can’t fault his action. I’ve been ready for you to return for eight years.”

“Eight years?” Justin was dumbfounded.

“Yes, well it took me a couple of years before I figured out how stupid I had been. By that time you were in your relationship with Andrew. Michael told me he was moving in.”

“Did Michael neglect to tell you Andrew moved out... ten days later?”

“That shit.”

“Don’t blame Michael. He probably thought he was protecting you.”

“He had been hoping I’d move on.”

“Why haven’t you?”

“Why haven’t you?”

When Justin didn't respond, Brian drew in a deep breath. “I’ve been waiting for you. For the time to be right.”

“Is now the right time?”

“It could be.”   
+*+*+*+*+*+*+

“What’s your schedule today?” Brian asked, emerging from the walk in closet knotting his tie.

“I’m supposed to help Mom with last minute shopping. Then we were going to bring all of the stuff for tomorrow’s dinner here and get it prepped. I promised her that I’d go to the early service at church. I don’t supposed you and Gus would like to join us?”

Brian looked at Justin. He sat at the foot of the bed pulling on socks. Just a nice, normal every day task. Brian shook his head, “I think we’ll skip it. Gus and I have some last minute things we need to do to be ready for tomorrow.”

+*+*+*+*+*+*+

The day flew by. Gus and Brian were conspicuously absent when Justin and his mom arrived with all the groceries for the following day’s meal. Jennifer insisted on the full tour, claiming it was for professional reasons. They moved through the house, exploring rooms Justin previously hadn’t even seen.

The living room was graced with a Christmas tree that had to be nearly ten feet tall. It was beautiful with sparkling ornaments and glistening lights. Upon closer inspection, there were several home-made ornaments by Gus and Jenny Rebecca.

Under the tree, gifts were piled three and four high.

“What’d he do? Stick up Santa?”

“Mom!”

Jennifer chuckled. “Look at it Justin.”

He did; he saw the names of himself, his mother, his sister and her family. “He’s got stuff here for you -- and Tucker -- and Molly’s family. How did he know?”

“He called me this morning after you left. Claimed he needed names for place cards.”

“Place cards?”

“Well, looking back on it, it was a bit lame. I couldn’t figure out why he needed ages.”

+*+*+*+*+*+*+

The house was dark except for the glow from the tree lights when Justin let himself in around midnight. He followed the glow down the hall and looked in wonder from the doorway. The tree lights were somehow muted -- just perception he supposed -- making their light soft. There was a fire in the great fireplace, the large rug in front of it looked warm and inviting. This was where he and Brian had made love, where Brian had asked him to marry him all those years ago, where he’d said yes. 

Justin moved into the room and stood looking at the tree. The man he loved, a home, a family... a career. Did he dare voice his wish out loud.

He felt the warmth of Brian, even before the arms wrapped around him, pulling him back to Brian’s strong chest. 

“You can have it all you know.” Brian whispered in his ear. “You can come home to Pittsburgh or I can move to New York. Our timing’s not always been the best, and I hate to let Gus think he can mastermind our lives. But we’re both at that point in our lives where we can dictate our destiny. Ten years is long enough.”

Justin turned in Brian’s arms and searched his face. “Are you asking me to marry you?”

“Hell, no! I want a real commitment.”

“I rather like the idea of being lord of the manor.” 

Brian arched an eyebrow at the comment, “and that would make me...”

“The other lord of the manor.” Justin gave a joyful laugh. “Good-bye New York! Hello Pittsburgh!”

+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Jennifer, Tucker and Gus entered the living room with its warm fireplace and great tree. Molly and her husband were upstairs putting their kids down for a nap. Justin and Brian were seated closely together on the couch talking quietly.

“So Gus,” Jennifer looked over the piles of unwrapped gifts. “Did you get what you were wishing for under the tree?”

“Oh, I got what I was wishing for, but it wasn’t under the tree.”

“Really? It seems to me that you made quite a haul,” Tucker noted.

“I did,” Gus smiled. “But my wish was never for me. It didn’t cost much, and with luck it will last a lifetime.” His gaze went to the couch where his father and Justin were now kissing.

Jennifer’s gave Gus’s hand a squeeze. He was something, this young man before her. He’d been able to accomplish something she had been spending years wishing for -- Justin’s happiness. Oh, she hadn’t thought that it would be with Brian Kinney, certainly not after ten years. But looking at the two of them together, she knew it was right.

Brian leaned in and kissed Justin gently.

“Oh, great!” Gus rolled his eyes and Jennifer laughed. The oh so grown up young man still had a bit of the boy in him.

“You better get used to it,” Tucker said from the sidelines. “I believe you wished for it.”

“Yeah, but not this part! I mean, who needs to see their parents sucking face?” Gus made a face and tugged at Jennifer’s hand. “Molly says that you and Tucker are pretty good at video games. Let me show you the set up Dad’s got in the den.”

“Are they gone yet?” Brian asked against Justin’s ear.

“I think Gus has dragged them off to the den.”

Brian stood up and stretched. “You know, after that wonderful dinner, I’m thinking I might need a nap.” He reached out to Justin’s hand and leveraged him off the couch.

“You know, as we get older, I believe we’re going to need more naps, perhaps a few on a daily basis.”

“I could get used to that.”

“Me, too. C’mon old man, last one there has to bottom!” Justin sped out of the room and up the stairs, but Brian’s longer legs made up for the lead in just a few strides. They made it to the bedroom door at nearly the same time. Brian stopped only to shut and lock the door before tackling Justin onto the bed.

“I won!” Justin crowed in victory.

“In your dreams, bottom boy!”

“Every night,” he agreed and pulled Brian down for a kiss.


End file.
